RSVP - 'respondez, s'il vous plait'

(Published on 26 December 2006 in 'Women at Work' - W @ W - a supplement of the Daily Mirror, Colombo, Sri Lanka)

The four little letters at the bottom of a wedding invitation card almost always go unnoticed. There is no doubt that the host sending out the invites must have put this acronym there with a purpose. Especially at a time when the cost of printing the card depends on the number of words being printed on it… the person sending the card most certainly would not add these four letters to heighten the aesthetic value of the invite or show-off his knowledge of the English language. Judith Martin, the author of many books on etiquette believes that ‘RSVP’ came about as a polite way of reminding people of something that they should already know: If you receive an invitation, you should reply.

Interestingly the acronym RSVP has numerous meanings:
m RSVP - Rotating Surveillance Vehicle Platform
m RSVP - Reading, Spelling, Vocabulary, Pronunciation
m RSVP - Rapid Service Voice Processing
m RSVP - Rating Site Value Points
m RSVP - Reinforcing Safety Values in People
m RSVP - Retrieve Sound Velocity Profile
m RSVP - Recognise Success via Implementation
m RSVP - Rapid Serial Visual Presentation
m RSVP - Rare Symmetry Violating Processes
m RSVP - Retired and Senior Volunteer Program
m RSVP - Research Society for Victorian Periodicals
m RSVP - Renewables for Sustainable Village Power
m RSVP - Restartable Solid Variable Pulse (rocket motor)

Now if you are a rocket scientist you might just confuse RSVP to stand for Restartable Solid Variable Pulse with reference to a rocket motor – but for you and me it really is quite simple. RSVP stands for a French phrase, "répondez, s'il vous plaît," which means ‘please reply.’ Implying that, the person sending the invitation would like you to tell him whether you accept or decline the invitation. Invitations carry the host's telephone number so you can call with your answer. However, under strict etiquette rules, a written invitation requires a written reply.

For hosts who are planning a dinner party, a wedding or a reception, this is important from a practical point of view. The host will need to know how many people to cater for, not just for planning food quantities but issues relating to appropriate seating, transportation, etc. among other administrative things. However what is more important is the simple courtesy of responding to someone who was nice enough to invite you, even if it is to say that you will not be able to attend. Nowadays, to make it more convenient for the guest, invitations often carry a request saying -‘regrets only.’ That means that the host will count on your being present unless you tell him otherwise.

There is lot of confusion in the minds of guests as to what exactly RSVP means. RSVP does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression ‘regrets only’ is used if that is what is to be conveyed). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event. It is considered as rude and a pointless exercise to respond and communicate on the very date of the event itself. Rather too late for the host to make changes and swing into action.

I’d like to believe that the decline in RSVP's is attributed to ignorance and people not really knowing what it means rather than rudeness. RSVP is a term given to us by the French and it would be thus appropriate to close with a line on etiquette by Colette, a French novelist: “It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship.”

Miss Know-All
miss.know.all@gmail.com

From the desk of Miss Know-All: Dating Allowance! Staff retention... at what cost?

(Published on 12 December 2006 in 'Women at Work' - W @ W - a supplement of the Daily Mirror, Colombo, Sri Lanka)

Given the current demand for skill, HR heads of multinationals are getting their knickers in a twist about retaining a committed workforce. Finding and keeping good people is always a major concern. As corporate loyalty and commitment are in short supply, a great workplace culture is the need of the hour. Organisations are now looking at innovative changes in the workplace and work culture and improved ways to motivate their staff.

Recently, there was much hue and cry in the press when a leading Indian company was accused of giving its employees a ‘dating allowance’. One had heard of HRA, LTA, Medical, Transport and Dearness allowance... but what in the world was a ‘dating allowance’?

A case was filed by Tripti Nigam against Wipro, India's third-biggest software company under the new Domestic Violence Act alleging that her husband Gaurav Nigam had deserted her because the company paid him a ‘dating allowance’. Tripti, who lives in Kanpur, alleged that Wipro paid her husband an allowance for dating and this was leading to ‘moral degradation’. While Wipro officials went blue in the face denying that they gave employees ‘dating allowance’, the whole incident has brought to light something that is still very new to the Indian corporate world.

Dating Allowance is the latest to join the list of incentives being offered to employees. More of a trend in the US, this new allowance has now made its way to India as well. Believed to be an essential addition in times of long stressful work hours, a dating allowance is typically aimed at promoting inter-personal communication and possible long lasting relationships, within the office. The philosophy behind the initiative is to show that the company wants to participate in the lives of its employees. Whether a company should participate and interfere in the lives of their employees to such an extent is debatable… as well as a personal choice.

Staff turnover costs companies dearly. But staff retention… at what cost? A driving factor of the employee’s loyalty is the company’s well-planned and executed package of benefits. These days among the perks are on-campus fitness centres, lap pools, tennis courts, basketball courts, and volleyball courts. Company hosted events are organised to help build camaraderie. The benefit package includes flexible work hours. While recreational activities have nothing to do with improving the employee’s job performance, companies recognise that such activities help employees grow personally. Organisations actively encourage off-the-job activities, which include scuba classes, yoga classes, dance classes and ski-resort getaways.

However, employee retention efforts are not all focused on fun and games. Competitive compensation packages which include not just the salary but bonuses, stock options, and the traditional health and retirement package are other tools that help keep employees onboard. Both communication and staff development are crucial. A communication plan needs to be devised to keep employees apprised of company performance and business objectives. A company needs to be committed to employee education and respond effectively to their needs. Rewards and recognition can be powerful tools and are proving to be effective especially when recognition is linked to personal needs such as time off, job sharing, flex-time, office space, special tasks and public acknowledgment.

Attention to retention should be a constant, ongoing process. Nurturing staff should be a non-stop, day-to-day activity. We are no moral police to judge if this new perk called ‘dating allowance’ is appropriate or not... for at the end of the day isn’t it up to the employee to decide how he uses his allowance… irrespective of what name it is given.

Zig Ziglar makes an interesting observation on employee motivation - “People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.”

Miss Know-All
miss.know.all@gmail.com

From the desk of Miss Know-All: Yes! I've finally been 'mammographed'!

(Published on 5 December 2006 in 'Women at Work' - W @ W - a supplement of the Daily Mirror, Colombo, Sri Lanka)

Overcoming one’s fears is not easy. I have been wanting to get a mammography done for some years now… but was scared stiff. Friends are to be blamed for this – for they told me that it was a painful exercise that resulted in a lot of discomfort. But really – it was fear of the unknown. I was not even sure of what the procedure entailed. Was it an injection? Or was it a needle biopsy? Or was it just a plain ultrasound or an x-ray? Or do they put you in a ‘CAT scan’ like machine? I reached the hospital clueless. The only instruction given prior to the mammography was to avoid using any deodorant, talcum powder or lotion. The lady doctor was gentle and before she proceeded chose to explain the whole process to me.

Mammography is the process of examining the breast for different types of tumours and cysts by using low-dose X-rays. The process has been proven to reduce mortality from breast cancer as it results in early detection. During the procedure, the breast is compressed by two plates that are part of the machine, in order to even out the tissue and increase image quality. Both front and side images of the breast are taken. Radiologists then analyze the image for any abnormal growths. Self-breast examination is essential for regular breast care but mammography is a more reliable method. Routine mammography of older women is encouraged as a screening method to diagnose early breast cancer.

The doctor also explained that though mammography is the only screening method which has been shown to actually detect cancer, it is not always 100% accurate. 10 – 20% of cancers are missed by mammography. In every 100,000 women approximately 350 women suffer with breast cancer. Of these about 35-70 will not be seen and detected by mammography. The following myths about breast cancer need to be busted:
hOnly women get breast cancer
hOnly women with a family history of breast cancer are at risk
hOlder women are less likely to get breast cancer than younger women
hBreast cancer is contagious
hAll breast lumps are cancerous
hSmall-breasted women cannot get breast cancer
hDrinking coffee increases a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer
hAntiperspirants are a leading cause of breast cancer
hBreast-feeding causes breast cancer
hOral contraceptive pills cause breast cancer

The examination lasted for less than 30 minutes. While mammography does involve breast compression, which is temporarily uncomfortable, the procedure is not unbearably painful. It was over before I realised that it was. The compression lasts for a very short duration. My appeal to all my readers is to take out half an hour from their busy schedules and get a mammography done. And when you have taken the step – remember to talk about it to as many people as possible.

"Sickness comes on horseback and departs on foot." Dutch Proverb

Miss Know-All
miss.know.all@gmail.com