From the desk of Miss Know-All: Being a good houseguest

(Published on 29 August 2006 in 'Women at Work' - W @ W - a supplement of the Daily Mirror, Colombo, Sri Lanka)

Ever had a painful houseguest pretties? A family is usually full of them – and instead of being a joyful family reunion – the occasion often turns out to be the lady of the house’s worst nightmare.

As a kid I remember frequently going for vacations to my grandmother’s house. A whole bunch of cousins would descend at her place and it would be one big party. Having said that there were strict house rules to be followed and even though we were so many of us – housework never got disrupted and everything else around us worked as it should when it should – like clockwork. We were repeatedly reminded by our parents that if we were good guests we would be welcomed over and over again.

Being a houseguest in another's home is a wonderful way to bond and share friendships. However, it takes special effort to be a good house guest whether it is at a relative’s or a friend’s house. I recollect an aunt and her bratty kids coming over one summer. By the time they left nerves were frayed and the whole family was in a cantankerous crabby mood. Our living room cushions were stained with chocolate, the garden hose had been twisted repetitively, the doorbell would not ring any more, the music system speakers had given up, the doormat had chewing gum and biscuit crumbs would appear from the most startling places.

The perfectionist that I am, I’ve always taken great care to be a good houseguest and formulated my own rules and regulations. Little bit of research on the people you are visiting always helps. After all it would be only appropriate to dress and behave as per what’s acceptable at your hosts. It’s a nice gesture to take the family something as a gift – even if it means a jar of home-made treacle. A small act, that will help you forge friendships. Keep observant and follow small hints that the hostess may drop. Usually the lady of the house wants the housework to proceed without a hitch. Flow with the tide. Don’t be a hindrance. Observe how people behave in their homes and follow suit. Pay attention to when people bathe, how frequently and for how long, when people get up and go to sleep and whether or not shoes are worn indoors.

And for heaven’s dahlings - if you want to remain popular, limit your stay to just a couple of days. As aptly put by Hubbard Kin, “making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.” Your host may insist you stay longer, but its left for you to evaluate whether, your doing so would affect the host's life and budget. Additional house members are always an economic burden and a strain on the household budget. Paying for groceries, fruits, etc is a polite way of contributing. Give your host numerous opportunities to accept your offers of gifts or to make purchases for the household. Sending a thank-you note along with some photos that include the host family is a lovely and thoughtful way to ensure that your bond with the host family will last forever. Whether a close relative or a dear friend no relationship should be taken for granted.

Wonder why Miss Know All’s are so popular, sugars? It’s because we lead our lives by the book… perfectionists that we are.

In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”

Miss Know-All
wow@dailymirror.wnl.lk